The abstract concepts of the conscious, subconscious, and unconscious mind are real to me…usually. Every so often, I find myself resisting those constructs and feeling more comfortable with ideas we can sense more easily. When I am in that rational mode, it is gratifying to find a real life example of the subconscious. That experience helps reinforce my belief and understanding of those cognitive abstractions.
Occasionally, a subconscious thought comes out to say hello. An intriguing and surprising thought can flash through our mind. That idea can be a window to many subconscious thoughts that have not yet come out for a bow on the stage. The thought shines through and illuminates what we think deep down. A conversation I had today with Andre, a client I know well, reiterated this.
Andre is a highly intelligent man who spent many years studying in kollel. Eventually, he realized he needed to support himself and his family. He then pursued a law degree in a top-rated school. Since then, he has enjoyed practicing law in a private practice and became recognized as an expert in his niche. His commitment to Torah study is strong and he still maintains a regular Torah learning schedule.
Despite Andre’s intelligence and professional expertise, he has difficulty making ends meet with plenty. He is by no means struggling. Nonetheless, he is far from his financial expectations given his talents, education, and training. Andre often finds it challenging to charge legal fees that reflect the excellent work that he does. He also has a limited number of clients compared to what one would expect from an attorney with his experience.
We shared an insight into what might be causing that in a conversation we had today. Andre was excited to report to me:
Early this morning I was in the daf shiur, learning today’s daf, Avodah Zarah 55. The Gemara says, “He who comes to purify himself is assisted by Heaven, and he who comes to become impure is assisted by Heaven.” A thought flashed through my mind. Perhaps my success so far as an attorney is not a Divine sign that I am on the right professional path. Maybe I went astray by not being a full-time Torah scholar or teacher. Perhaps Heaven helped me develop my legal talents because I am on the “wrong path.” After all, the Gemara states that someone who comes to become impure is also assisted by Heaven. What if I am doing something incorrect, and Heaven is helping me persist in the way that I chose?
Together we reflected on this thought, which Andre said lasted only a second. It seemed to explain so much about his life. The answer to his lukewarm financial and professional situation appears to be rooted in his subconscious self-judgment. He is a man that left the hallowed halls of yeshiva study to pursue law. Although he seems to have embraced this identity, today’s revelation hints that he harbors a subconscious guilt about his choice. Those unseen beliefs seem to determine his life and financial situation more than he imagines. That realization was eye-opening for him and for me.
It is not easy for any of us to escape from these deep-seated thoughts. The first step toward freeing ourselves from these thoughts is gaining awareness that they are there altogether. By recognizing these feelings, we can import them from the dark corners of the subconscious into the light of the conscious mind. With this clarity, we can confront them, see their influence on us, and try to loosen those reins. The journey from subconscious beliefs to conscious action is a long one. However, it is the way to achieve a more fulfilling life and the path to real growth, both personal and financial.
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